You can decide to do a ‘leave in message.’ It’s another way for each of you to communicate what you would like without saying a thing. Either of you may go all out to buy an erotic gift and leave a note on the fridge in the morning saying that you don’t mind changing position to a ‘kneeling down and taking off style.’ This style is so unique that it not a regular style but a special one that you engage in when you want to have a time to remember. And while doing that, take note that to get the maximum pleasure, you have to take your time to slowly and passionately rip your clothes off in a wild ride, so as to really get to know every erotic spot on your mate.
You can even time yourselves to know how
far you both can endure heavy foreplay before actual sex. For a start,
set a timer for 20 minutes one day, 30 the next and 40 the day after
(every other day could be a good idea). This will force you to figure
out each other’s pleasure threshold. Or try this technique: put four
little bells on four silky strings, and tie one around both your
spouse’s wrist and ankle. Then tell him or her not to jingle while you
check out the body geography. Partners can learn a lot about what turns a
partner on just by watching their facial expressions as they struggle
to stay still.
The age of 32 to 39 or thereabout,
hormonally speaking, is a great time for a couple. The man’s
testosterone level is still high enough to keep him hot. But he’s not as
frivolous as he was in his 20s, when a sideway glance at his wife could
spark a raw fire within him and turn him on and keep him hard all day
long. Those slightly lower levels of excitement may mean that he may
have put any premature ejaculation problem behind him. And while the
wife may have dry spells when she is pregnant or breastfeeding (both of
which can decrease her sex drive), it is common for breastfeeding women
to have inadequate vaginal lubrication. But experts agree that this is
the age when most women hit their sexual stride.
“In their 30s, majority of spouses are
more confident with their bodies, their mates and their sexuality. They
are less afraid to speak up about what they like, so they are more
likely to have orgasms. Although the two of them may have come off that
initial wild passionate sex, they may likely settle into what experts
call the attachment stage: a period of closeness and contentment when
both share a general sense of union and peace of mind. The kind of
connection a couple in love shares at this stage drives up levels of
oxytocin and vasopressin (the two chemicals that flood the brain with
feelings of well-being). Here, they think of sex in the brain before the
body. A research was carried out on couples within these age ranges to
know the percentage of sex in the brain. Researchers wanted to know how
much do these couples think about sex on a daily basis. The result was
once a day, 34 per cent; once an hour, 44 per cent; whenever I hear love
music, three per cent; I’m too busy to think of it much, 19 per cent.
Besides, it is at this stage that such
couples are caring for kids and building careers, so they have less time
for spontaneous sex. Making sex truly sensational happens when they
find ways to put it on their schedule, whether that means more quickies
or making foreplay a part of everyday life. But whatever the case may
be, the passions much not go off. You both can flood your sexual senses
by carving out a day when you’re so tired that you can’t imagine wanting
to get busy in bed. You can refocus with this relaxing but racy ritual,
which will wake you and your husband’s senses. Innocently invite him to
“talk” over a favourite dish and your favourite music while you change
out of your work clothes. Once you’ve stripped down to your underwear,
lean over and lick his neck while unbuttoning his shirt. Next, work your
way down to his nipples, where that tingling sensation will fill his
head with sexy thoughts. Stimulating your senses is the best way to shut
out distractions and ease your way into the bedroom. Even when you’ve
got in the mood, you may still have to fit what you used to do in three
hours into just a few minutes. This makes you both feel so connected to
each other, and sex becomes even more intimate and soulful, no matter
how swiftly you both do it.
‘Nothing spoil’ if both of you have an
all day foreplay in one of the weekends. It also helps if you’re ready
to get it on before you hit the sheets. Find little ways to play around
during the day. Creativity can help compensate for minimal mattress
time. One woman I know writes sexy messages on her husband’s arm
(they’re hidden under his sleeve during the day) and forbids him to read
them until he gets to work. A man who I particularly admire puts rose
petals on the overhead fan in the bedroom. When his wife turns it on,
the room is showered with flowers. You both can savour those sleepless
nights by just doing it, because a man’s testosterone level starts going
up around 2 a.m. and keeps rising. It’s actually even better than
morning sex because you are in a sort of altered state. And after you
have made love, you can just roll over for a few more delicious hours of
sleep. Think sex whenever you find yourselves up at an odd time; it is
very pleasurable.
Now let’s look into the age of 45 and
above. This isn’t the most hormonally charged stage of marriage. The
outset of peri menopause may mean that sex hormones are waning. Less
estrogen means that the woman may not lubricate as quickly or easily as
she used to. And the man’s lower testosterone level means that it’ll
take more to get him turned on and that he’s not thinking about sex as
often as he used to. Never mind. At this age, there’s plenty that is
going on between the two of you to keep sex steamy. In fact, experts say
many couples in their 40s say they enjoy making love now more than
ever. At this point, you and your partner know exactly how to excite
each other. The little traditions you have, such as making love on
Saturday afternoon and slipping into Sunday morning. Kids are old enough
to fend for themselves (if you still have young kids, try a mix of tips
from this section and the previous one), so you have some quality time
to be together alone.
Remember, when nature’s doing less to
push you into the bedroom, just do it and do it. The more you make love,
the more you think about making love. And the more you think about
making love, the more you want to make love. But shake things up. Now is
the perfect time to explore new moves, since after so many years
together, you feel comfortable enough to try silly games with your mate
or to just be erotically close together than ever before. Besides, at
this age, men crave for some surprises. So, give your man something to
reflect on.
If you’ve been noticing that it takes
your husband a little longer to get it up these days, try this twist on
the mirror-above-the-bed cliché. Next time you catch him standing in
front of a full-length mirror, sneak up to him from behind with a
handful of massage oil that heats up on contact and start stroking him
slowly while he watches. Before long, the surprise of what he’s feeling
combined with the sexy scene he’s watching will have him totally revved
up. Men are visual creatures; nothing turns them on like a sexy image.
Don’t stop there; prevent him from turning around to embrace you or from
moving his eyes away from the mirror as you continue to stroke him. I
am sure that both of you will enter another world, because the more you
can shock your husband at this stage, the hotter he’ll get. Spread the
sensation further. Since you’ve got all day to please each other, you
may as well prolong the pleasure. Nothing stops you from kissing and
caressing your husband’s penis until he’s on the verge of orgasm. Then
shift your attention to other parts of his body. Alternate between
genital and non-genital stimulation until he’s aroused to a state of
being hypersensitive. Try to continue doing this for about 10 minutes.
The longer you do this, the better. Then push him over the edge. His
climax will radiate like shock waves through his entire body.
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